Khiladion Ka Khiladi

I woke up in the morning today,pressed the on button on my monitor,and as the monitor blinked to life,the first thing I noticed was that sometime at night,one of my friends had left me a message,sometime during midnight,and it read ‘Forca Barca’.And though I still don’t know what that's supposed to mean(I sometimes feel that many of my friends are well versed in about half a dozen languages,while I am still struggling to master two),I guessed that somebody had won yesterdays ‘Sabse Behtar Kaun’ and had emerged ‘Khiladion Ka Khiladi’,and in all probability,it was Barca.And I still don't know why I did what I did then,but what I did was cry out at the top of my voice ‘ahoy’.And it might have been alright in any other place,but when your mother is sleeping in the very next room,you just don’t do that,you just don’t.And before the implications of my unthoughtful act could sink in,there was my mother,out of her room,giving me a dose of her ‘kise ki hoy’.And she did not merely stop there,she also gave me a dose of her ‘kaan mooloo’,and i have a feeling that at the current rate,i might soon be called up by king khan and be offered to become the Kaan Mooloo of their team.(now that the original one is surely retiring,after having his kaan moolooed by every batsman possible during the IPL).
But,really,I was relieved that somebody had actually emerged winner,because the previous night,everything had looked so evenly matched to me,that I had had a feeling that the match might continue for who knows how long(reminds me now of that Kitply ad).And it was with this feeling that I had gone to sleep yesterday,at the conclusion of the first half,which,I must tell you,i thoroughly enjoyed.The score then read 1-0,in favour of the messy team,and as I had predicted,the Leftover had left his mark on the game,and the commentator said that it was an indelible one as well,but I was certain that the Beoda’s team would come back strongly.The reason for such strong belief was the Beoda himself,who,the commentator said,would perform the Houdini act in a remarkable turnaround for his team.But it was only today morning,while going through reviews of the match on the Internet that i realised what that meant.The commentator had been right,infact,the Beoda had performed it to such excruciating levels of perfection that he had become virtually untraceable during the entirety of the second half.And in between,Messy had also scored a goal.
But,what I enjoyed most was the opening ceremony,I had never never seen any thing like that before.I had seen women do norm walk,I had seen them do cat walk,but never had,i,in my life,until yesterday,seen a woman do the goose walk.And it was not one single woman,there were hundreds of them,all with weird paint dos on their faces,and right then I knew that they were as confused to night as me as to who to support.And the commentators,I really envy them,they are so enlightened.As soon as the Leftover had scored the first goal of the match,one of the commentators quipped in,I think he will be really glad to have scored’.Gee,how come that never occurred to us.And even before I had recovered from his previous discourse,he came up with his next thunderbolt,’I think Manchester will try to equalise now’.Now,to read thoughts of another person!!!That requires some special ability.But he had left the best one for the halftime whistle,’I don't think Sir Alex will be too happy that his team has fallen behind’.’cat scan!!’.
And in between all this,our Hyderabadi Biryani has managed to lose yet another match in the first round of a Bara Dhamaka.When she first made her Bara Dhamaka debut against the Lady Giant,she had said that she would someday become a world number one.And she is busy building the pillars for that impending success.I think she is going to make it real big someday.
Did not have time to finish any new book,but here's a recommendation from my old stable.Ruskins Bond’s ‘Delhi Is Not Far’ may not be among his most popular,but sure is an absorbing read,replete with the hallmarks of a classic Ruskin Bond prose-nostalgia,charm,underplayed humour and quiet wisdom.

http://www.mediafire.com/?u233nymzoum

of science.....and sports....

I think people should be a bit more careful when breaking news to others,I really think they should.I had just returned home and somebody on GTalk had left me a message ‘HI today is 100 years of science in INDIA..
and IISC is celebrating it with full glory spread this message to all your friends !!!ahoe the spirit of science and innovation...’.But I must tell you,and I must say I am ashamed to admit so,but I hardly cared,which was kind of reflected in my reply ‘so!’.And pat came the reply’don’t you feel proud?’.And that's when it hit me,the enormity of the occasion.And it hit me so hard that i almost bounced right off my chair and off the ground.But I was so much in awe of science then that all i could blabber out in my pain was,’gravity,thou heartless bitch’.And I was a proud man then,proud to be an Indian,and if anyones chest ever did swell up with pride,mine must have than,but i guess nobodys ever did.Man ,this was a big occasion.Can you believe it,its been 100 years that we have been walking around with test tubes,that even when the Goras had been been here,we were at it all the time,and they did never got a scent of things. Chak de India.Jai ho.We had taken hold of their testtubes and were doing our own mambo jumbo,right under their noses.
But whatever happens,it cannot possibly distract you from the big event today. Man,am i charged up today or what!Why?Was that a question?Are you Indian?I think not,then you wouldn’t be asking such questions.Today is the final of ‘Sabse Achha Kaun’ between the two biggest teams in the world,and I cant just wait for it to begin.No,they are not Indian teams,and I do not share any allegiance to either of the teams,but who cares!Its all over the newspapers,and the news channels,and on anybodys lips,who cares for this world,and they say its going to be a treat,and there will be lots of goals.I don't know what goal you can have in a football match,other than putting the ball in the net,and that counts upto just one goal,but the ‘whos who’ say it and i am going to believe them.
And they say we are going to see the two greatest players in the world, Beoda and Messy(though i was a little sad that they left out my Paternal Uncle,but if they say it,it must be so),and they are going to decide the fate of the match.But you know what i think?I think the beoda will emerge on top.I think the other player’s parents really messed up his future.Really,whoever names his child ‘Messy’?Doesn't matter however messed up one was as a child,you don't name him Messy.Its a huge burden to carry on ones shoulders,to be messy all your life,to live upto it.Learn from us atleast,theres so much to learn from us.We name our children Anit,and i tell you,that's a neat name,no way he is going to mess it up.Nay,i am certain Messy is going to mess it up today.i am certain ‘Alex Ka Bichhda Beta’(i dare not go for word by word translation of his surname,it sounds quite messed up.’FUR GU’.ha ha.nasty!)will have some plans to mess up Messy’s day.But i think you cant have gigs in a football final,that's just plain lame.
But the Beoda must be on his guard today,he may not be able to play as freely as other days,in case Big John turns up in the stands.I hear theres some bad blood between them,ever since Beoda kissed Beeps(now that's what i call a censored name) on the lips(ahoy,poetry),and i don't think Big John will get a better opportunity to mess up Beodas day.You should really be careful while fooling around with other peoples girlfriends,and this is no Rajpal Yadav,its Big John.So i think that kind of evens things out.So i think,it all boils down to those two guys,the Hulk and the Leftover(his mother actually named him’eto’,thats a weird thing to do).But yes, I really think they are going to be the deciding factors.They are real good players,and its time for them to show ‘whos who’.
And i am all charged up,who wouldn't be.Though I don't know the names of more than half the players on either side,and I have rarely watched either of the two teams play,and though I don't yet know which team to support,I can hardly sit still or hold a thought in my head.I think today is going to be a busy day for doctors.You know,we Indians get real emotional when foreign teams face off against each other in such big finals(doomed to the prospect of never participating in them ourselves).
Anyways,Fedex plays again today,so gotta rush.Thats it for now.
By the way,finished reading Sirshendus ‘Collage’,and it was not much of an absorbing read.So,nothing much to say.Bye.

lucky us.....

Was out the whole day today(now,that means something entirely different in NIT),so didn't have the time or the opportunity to catch up on my latest obsession.But really,after Aila evaded Kolkata by a mere 50 kms(i don't know how that is,i can almost swear he was here yesterday),I switched on my television,first thing in the morning(mine starts at 9am),and,lo.there was the Kolkata meteorological department predicting showers the whole day today.And I immediately switched off my television,made plans for the whole day,got dressed and went out.Wow Guldar,during his tenure,had baught a lot of instruments that would help him predict the weather better,but,the weather gods,well,they must have been really pissed with him that the skies pissed on every sunny day he predicted.
And talking of wet weather,well,one person i think should not venture out in this kind of weather and its our very own Firy Lady(now,i could have gone with ‘Lady On Fire’,but i guess that would have been just plain rude,and rather moderately,could have called her ‘Hot Lady’,but i guess that would have been plain obscene’).And just as I was starting to worry about her,there she was on television,and common sense had prevailed,she had decided against going to Delhi.No use getting your fire doused by Aila.And talking of her,I now know who the largest buyer of second hand cars is.Its again,our very own Firy Lady(she went to meet the prime minister in a car which was allegedly,running its last yard.And you talk of her of not being in favour of industrialisation,get a life.i think she feels some real mamta towards these cars.And man,is she sympathetic towards the common people!)
But i think things are not as easy for her as people think them to be.She is up against an equel opponent ,who is equelly powerful,our Enlightened Lord.But I don't think,he can bring the Goodbyes back to Kolkata.’Nera beltolae akbari jae’(now i cant translate that into English for you).But dont think he is lagging behind in anything.He set up a disaster management cell as soon as the storm had blown over(now,if that's not foresight,then what is??).He may not have any maya,mamta or karuna in him,but he more than makes up for it in foresight.what a leader!!!!
And Indians can be proud of themselves once again(no,no,Vikas Dhorasu is not playing for France again).After SARS and bird flu,now its swine flu who hasn't had the courage to infect us.Are we really that stingy,that even viruses wont attack us?But really,what kind of a person contacts swine flu.Suar Ke Bachche,we call them(for yo Americans,it means a piglet).
And Federer seems to have started off quite well in the French Open.But sadly,and quite ominously,so has Mr Itchy Back(now we know what problems wearing tight pants can cause,they can embarrass you in public.He doesn't have much problem with it though,he puts his back hand to good use).But the player who,i think,had it easiest,probably was the Rod.Man was he a Hot Rod yesterday,he was on fire.And all i can say is,his opponent had a ride on the Rod,and he did not like it one bit though(which convinces me that he will never make it as a singer).
Well,finished reading Sirshendus Banshiwala,and I don't know how many of you will be interested in it,but it was really good.not his best though,but brilliant storytelling again,and theres that characteristic humour,all very much present.
Last heard,our Pyare Mohan had wanted FullMonty as his lead actor,but as i hear it,the part has now gone to Poor Knob,with wholesome support from Jenny(the Gadhi Bahu).

for lack of a better idea.....

Its raining outside,has been the whole day,in fact.So,with nothing better to do,I decided to waste some time on my latest obsession.And for all reasons,this is going to be a quickie(not the type the Warnie likes) and a shortie(well,not the type that we see on the cheerleaders).
And I don't know what Aila has against Kolkata,but after having ravaged Kolkata in full public a couple of weeks back(man he hit the crap out of ‘Raat Ki Sawari’,),he is at it again.Infact,its entire Bengal this time.And talking of IPL,we now know for certain who next years champions are going to be.They have come last this time and they probably will have an Australian captain in Sticky Something next year.Talk of failure being a pillar for success.They have built the pillars and real strong ones as well they are,and now are ready to embrace success.And talking of kings,we know why super kings lost in the semis.A captain has to be strong,courageous,daring,in short,he has to have the balls,and he clearly says it,’i have the bat,you have the ball’.Now you cant really expect such a team to emerge champs.But he is mr cool,’mind it’.And punjab will probably never get to be champions. No team can succeed with 11 kings.Ego clash,we call it.
And talking of kings,i was just amazed to see the royal blood running through the teams in the IPL.Kings eleven,Rajasthan Royals,Super Kings,Royal Challengers.And Kolkata any ways has royal blood,they don't need a name to prove it,what with King Khan as the team owner and Lordie as a team member.And now they have a proper strategy to be champions next time.And people actually thought they were confused.
Well,Fedex is all set to roll,and i gotta rush.Cant miss watching him play.
And no books this time around.I am no superman,small maybe,but no wonder either.

of Katchy finals......and more.....

Well well,what a final we had yesterday,and as always,the team i was supporting ended up on the wrong side.Though i was half expecting it this time.It infact,has happened so many times,that i possibly could come up with a conspiracy theory that the results are so fixed to prove me wrong,if i had better opinion of my judgment.Even Mr Right could not prevent the side i was supporting from ending up on the wrong side in a WC final.And the Beodas sure did choke on the marrow,and what a match to do it in.and Mr Gillidanda,immaterial that he failed with the bat,the man has some real balls(oh,no,don't take this the wrong way),he sure has,and the way he lead his team,got them charged up,i mean,u gotta hand it to him.But not to be forgotten is that man,Crumble,what a leader,to come in as the opening bowler,that required some balls.And this man did not merely have balls,he put them to good use,sneaking one past Gillidanda.
Though i kind of felt sad for Mr.Batliwala,but he has too many batlis to drown out the disappointment.And talking of batlis,there was a shot of him during the match which showed him having a drink and my mom was certain that he was having liquor.So much for being a liquor baron.
And what a closing ceremony we had.and that South African Idol,i mean,he was really good,and he got the crowd all worked up during the strategy breaks,just wish i could actually hear or make out what he was singing.All i saw him do was swing a lot.Some body got to tell him that there are cheerleaders for that.And talking of strategy breaks,i saw the batsman who was to come in next for the Beodas having a hit.Talk of being a pessimist.I saw some one complaining that we got to see more of Catty than Gillidanda after the match.I at least wasn't,to hell with cricket,how many matches have you seen with someone like Catty as a cheerleader,just wish Long Leg and Dimpled Junta had also been there.And i was totally satisfied after the finals,having got my dose of entertainment for the day.Just wished that Aila had been there.But you dont get everything in life do you.Just ask the Tweaker,how he gave up on Long Leg and went to Fine Leg(that's Long Leg's sister).You just don't get it all your way.
And finally,i got through(rather endured) reading ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’.And man ,was it a bore.I don't know how it got so popular,but easily the worst book i have read in a while.I actually found myself more interested in the Ferrari than the monk,but the author rambles on about the monk,and man,is he boring!
Federer starts off his French open today,and i am really hopeful this time.But i wish i hadn't been so hopeful about Federer's chances.
And a last word of thanks to Fake IPL Player,you really spiced up this years edition of IPL.That's it until the next post.Bye.
And if you haven't already read it,i advice you do.......
http://fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com/2009_04_12_archive.html