Its raining outside,and its comming down pretty hard,one can almost quip in with the ‘raining cats and dogs’ thing(no wonder there are so many stray dogs and cats roaming the streets of Kollolini Tilottoma).So with nothing better to do,i decided to get down to writing a blog.Michael Jackson,the king of pop passed away this weekend.And i was trying to imagine what would happen when he set his dancing feet on paradise.
************************************************************************************
Scene:Heaven
Urvashi:Shorgo rajjey hulusthul,debraj beshamal
Nacher moddhe kete galo ‘dere kete’ taal
(enter michael jackson,in a black suit)
Michael:Taal hoe jae betaal,chhele hoe mey
MJ elo shorgey,sobai dakho chey
Urvash:Eta abar ke?sada kalo bhut!
Mathae badha jhuti,poshak odbhut!
Michael:Ami Michael
Urvashi:O.Modhushudon da!
Ta apnar a obostha holo ki kore
R apnar sei Virappan marka gofjorai ba kothae
Michael:Nana,ami se Michael noi,ami MJ
Michael Jackson
Urvashi:O,apni remake version?Agey bolben to!
Michael:Motei na
Ami akebarei original,piracyte nei mot
Nortoki hoe amae chenen na,bhari udbhot!
Urvashi:Apnar shobdo chayan shune mone hochhe apni naach gaan koren
Michael:Thiki dhorechhe
Ami Nachio
Gaio
Korio!
Urvashi:Ta ekhane ki orte asha hoechhe?
Michael:Ki korte r ashbo?ekhane to r keu jamaishosti korte ashe na!
Ta eshe kharap lagchhe na,Urvashi ke dekha.......
Tate je amar khub agroho ta noe
Bachcharai amar beshi sokha
Urvashi:O,apni bujhi bachchader khub bhalo basen
Michael:Amar prem nirbhajal,mediatey tobu obhijog hobe
Ami bachhader bhalobasi,akdom onnorokom bhabe
Testosterone khela dekhae ikirmikir montorey
Michael je dhukte chae sob shishuri ondorey!
urvashi:O bujhechhi,thak,r bolte hobe na.
Ta ki naach nachen apni?
Bharatnatyam na Katthak?
Michael:Kori ami Moondance,kolar khosae horkaitis
Sathe gailei gondogol,case jaundice
Urvashi:Ta ki ki gaan geychhen apni?
Michael:Amar sera gaangulor kotha bolte gele prothomei bolte hoe
Beat It mane Otae Maar
Tachhara bachchader abbhontorin soundorjo nie Pretty Young Thing
Tobe je gaanta amar sobche priyo,ta holo,
Baby Be Mine mane Bachcha Tui Amar.
Urvashi:ta apnar kono gaan ektu shonaben.........
Michael:Amar oprokashito akta gaan shonai apnake
Bhoktigiti.....
( Michael singing and dancing)
Dietingey sae din,gymetey saradin
Kareena kapoor jano chire chapta alpin
aooo
Kastey ar haturi,gaan gey dhan kate chasa
Nano holo onu’Modi’to,Kapalkundola shorbonasha
aoooooo
Bakruddho MahaBuddho diplomatic kano
Kapalkundola eshe kinapilo Nano
aooooooo
Nandite fondi,Singure bidhi bam
Babri nipat jak,Ajodhyay Ramnam
aooooo
In pin safetypin,Manmohan minmin
Gorbeta,Pirakata Mao kobolito din din
aoooooo
Lalgarh,mahajhor,Bongodeshe Aila
Victoriae hathe hath,Majnu ar Laila
aoooo
(Micheler polaeon)
Urvashi:R a,kothae jachhen apni?
Michael:Erokom gaan gey public kothae jae boss?
Urvashi:Kothae boss?
Michael:Maer bhogey!
Eaish!
EXIT..
********************************************
The circumstances of Michael's death remain as mysterious as the man himself.Was he a flawed genious.Maybe he was.Maybe that's what made him so popular,so irresistable.Whatever one writes,how many pages one fills up,one cannot possibly fully and justly illustrate the genious of this man.The King Of Pop maybe no more,but his creations promise to survive times erosion.May he never fade from public memory.May we remember him always as the ‘King of Pop’.
India 'Shiney'ing........
I tell you,its really hard,and taxing as well,I mean blogging.Its not easy,trying to be funny all the time,and specially for a guy like me,who cannot write for his life.And whats more,I am obsessed with it,and I find myself trying to cook up punch lines all 24 hours-in my sleep,as I get up from bed,while taking a shower,even when performing my morning rituals(that's when I essentially give back to the world what I had taken from it the previous day),and that last one is the most disturbing,it can really ruin the rest of your day.And even with all this effort what I am able to come up with are mere lines-that are intended to be funny but are actually pretty lame,and sometimes,in bad taste.That's because I end up trying to crack jokes at things i shouldn't actually be.
But it seems like I am not the only weirdo out here.It seems like suddenly the entire world has gotten into one big race,with every one trying his brains out to appear weird.And i tell you,this race is no hundred metre sprint,it is a marathon.Nobody wants to be left behind-the Cool Guy suddenly loses his cool and leads out his chowkidars in a kuch kawaj infront of the media,then starts going in to bat with a sleeping pillow,the Uglies first go mad at the Monkey for going fishing(Buchanan thought that he was doing it for Lordie,who,supposedly,is a Mechho Bangali),and then,again,this time for drinking,and actually send him back home,so that he can have a few more sips.But the person who has suddenly taken the lead in the last few laps is our very own Shoeni Guija.On being asked by the police why he had done it,and,that too forcibly,Shoeni,whose lawyer is reportedly a very suave guy(as they all are,they make an entire life out of escaping through the back door or,as Nasiruddin in 3 Deewarein would say,patli gali) was quick with his retort ‘because she wold not let me do it otherwise’.Now thats some logic,cant argue with that.’But why did you need to do it at all?’Now,you cannot possibly reason with a man this unreasonable.Why?Haven't you heard about that opposite sex thing.But really,I think Shoeny should be sentenced to atleast life imprisonment.Really,he has shamed the entire acting community.Even 70 year old heroes get the girls they want,to sleep with them.And Shoeni was refused by his maid!Shameful for a hero.And what dearth has he of girls?I am certain there are hundreds of girls who would pay to get screwed by him.Really,he is an insult to human intelligence.
And I have received my first ever comment(actually,I received it about two weeks ago).And talking of weirdos,this guy actually has the time to not merely read my blog but even comment on it.But he is a real colourful guy,atleast his name suggests so.And he somehow found some sort of connection between my blog ‘Of blogs and pubs’ and ‘viral web 2.0 technologies’.And though I am not sure what that is,I believe i have produced my masterpiece(like you know,when you are working on something and produce results entirely different’).I must be a genius!What colourful imagination that guy has!thanks man!
And finished reading Nillohit’s ‘Tin Shomudro Satash Nodi’ and it was an entertaining ride,albeit,quite different from anything else i have read till date.So,my advice is,if you can find time,and the money,do give it a try,you wont be disappointed.That's it for now.Au Revoir.
But it seems like I am not the only weirdo out here.It seems like suddenly the entire world has gotten into one big race,with every one trying his brains out to appear weird.And i tell you,this race is no hundred metre sprint,it is a marathon.Nobody wants to be left behind-the Cool Guy suddenly loses his cool and leads out his chowkidars in a kuch kawaj infront of the media,then starts going in to bat with a sleeping pillow,the Uglies first go mad at the Monkey for going fishing(Buchanan thought that he was doing it for Lordie,who,supposedly,is a Mechho Bangali),and then,again,this time for drinking,and actually send him back home,so that he can have a few more sips.But the person who has suddenly taken the lead in the last few laps is our very own Shoeni Guija.On being asked by the police why he had done it,and,that too forcibly,Shoeni,whose lawyer is reportedly a very suave guy(as they all are,they make an entire life out of escaping through the back door or,as Nasiruddin in 3 Deewarein would say,patli gali) was quick with his retort ‘because she wold not let me do it otherwise’.Now thats some logic,cant argue with that.’But why did you need to do it at all?’Now,you cannot possibly reason with a man this unreasonable.Why?Haven't you heard about that opposite sex thing.But really,I think Shoeny should be sentenced to atleast life imprisonment.Really,he has shamed the entire acting community.Even 70 year old heroes get the girls they want,to sleep with them.And Shoeni was refused by his maid!Shameful for a hero.And what dearth has he of girls?I am certain there are hundreds of girls who would pay to get screwed by him.Really,he is an insult to human intelligence.
And I have received my first ever comment(actually,I received it about two weeks ago).And talking of weirdos,this guy actually has the time to not merely read my blog but even comment on it.But he is a real colourful guy,atleast his name suggests so.And he somehow found some sort of connection between my blog ‘Of blogs and pubs’ and ‘viral web 2.0 technologies’.And though I am not sure what that is,I believe i have produced my masterpiece(like you know,when you are working on something and produce results entirely different’).I must be a genius!What colourful imagination that guy has!thanks man!
And finished reading Nillohit’s ‘Tin Shomudro Satash Nodi’ and it was an entertaining ride,albeit,quite different from anything else i have read till date.So,my advice is,if you can find time,and the money,do give it a try,you wont be disappointed.That's it for now.Au Revoir.
the one before the match.....
Been quite busy over the past week,and so,never quite couldfind time to come up with a post.Anyways,the Indians take on the Calypsos in tonights match,and captain Dhoni got a surprise visit from lord Bhim(of Mahbharata fame).Given below are excerpts of what transpired between them....sorry that its in bengali.......
Dhoni(singing):ei match jodi na sesh hoe,tobe kamon hoto tumi bolo to?
Jodi prithibita chhokkar deesh hoe tobe kamon hoto tumi bolo to
(enter bhim-hathe goda nie)
Bhim:chhokka chhokka bole korchho je ato thatta!
Bhalo lagbe mathae porle bhitupornor gatta?
Khela chhere gaan gey dichhis kaaje faki!
Chhokka nie ato dorod......d.k.lodh naki?
Dhoni:a chhokka se chhokka noere pagla,cricket ki ta janis?
Na jene sob byapare matha golate asish
Bhim:khub je jhi jhi dekhachhhis,janis ami ke?
Thakis to bhablar moto,khelar somae,prietyr dike chey.(total)
Egaro jonke eka samlae abhimonnui prothom
Toder theke or kapa bolto kothae kom
R jonty bolis,'arjuner lokkhobed' bol a janis kake?
O jodi khelto,sob ball e lagto oi legstumper takey
Ar batting ar goda chalanoe mil achhe koto!
Amakeo to lorar somae stump samlate hoto!
Dhoni:tomae abar chinbo na,hangla,bhari petuk
Khali to rakkhosi potate,die sexy 'killer look'.
Chalate to goda,roab dekhachho boro!
Shoaib bata ball korle bat ta akbar dhoro!
Ta ki korte asa hoechhe.....??
Bhim:kartikta dole chance peychhe,bodyguard chai
Shib bolle,bhai bhim,tumi e jao bhai.
Shib babaji to bhishon khushi,akkebare happy
Lokkhir chheler jonno tai kinechhe notun nappy
Durga ma bollo tokhon ‘amaro kichhu chai’
Gujarat gie notun nano kinlen tini tai.
Dhoni:se to bujhlam,kintu ok dhokate gie ami porechhi moha fasade
Sehwager sathe kotha nei,rotechhe,puro mediate.
Bhim:tomari ba dosh ki,desh bideshe khalo
Mediar samne porle baje boke falo
Tateo tomar dosh nei,chapta..amio bujhi guru
Amakeo to bhangte hoechhilo asto lohar uru..
Dhoni:tobuo to public pressure face koro ni,baba
Mone hoe jano ‘saper chhobol’,asto ‘bagher thaba’
Tobuoto IPL a inspiration chhilo koto
Cheerleaderra nachto jokhon,dhukpukani hoto
Chhotto mini,puchke choli,dekhbo bole
elam ami kaka
Ekhane eshe dekhi sala,apadmostok dhaka.
Bhim:public pressure bujhi,desher lok ja hoechhe
Akkebare naughty.
Dhoni:tar jonnoi to jonosonkha 140 koti(pagla chulke ne)
Ta ebar apni jan dada,khelbo ami akhon
Char hakabo amon ami,akkebare makhon
Terefure dhorbo pishe calypsoder amon
Gaibe ora sobai mile,chhere de ma akhon.
Dhoni(singing):ei match jodi na sesh hoe,tobe kamon hoto tumi bolo to?
Jodi prithibita chhokkar deesh hoe tobe kamon hoto tumi bolo to
(enter bhim-hathe goda nie)
Bhim:chhokka chhokka bole korchho je ato thatta!
Bhalo lagbe mathae porle bhitupornor gatta?
Khela chhere gaan gey dichhis kaaje faki!
Chhokka nie ato dorod......d.k.lodh naki?
Dhoni:a chhokka se chhokka noere pagla,cricket ki ta janis?
Na jene sob byapare matha golate asish
Bhim:khub je jhi jhi dekhachhhis,janis ami ke?
Thakis to bhablar moto,khelar somae,prietyr dike chey.(total)
Egaro jonke eka samlae abhimonnui prothom
Toder theke or kapa bolto kothae kom
R jonty bolis,'arjuner lokkhobed' bol a janis kake?
O jodi khelto,sob ball e lagto oi legstumper takey
Ar batting ar goda chalanoe mil achhe koto!
Amakeo to lorar somae stump samlate hoto!
Dhoni:tomae abar chinbo na,hangla,bhari petuk
Khali to rakkhosi potate,die sexy 'killer look'.
Chalate to goda,roab dekhachho boro!
Shoaib bata ball korle bat ta akbar dhoro!
Ta ki korte asa hoechhe.....??
Bhim:kartikta dole chance peychhe,bodyguard chai
Shib bolle,bhai bhim,tumi e jao bhai.
Shib babaji to bhishon khushi,akkebare happy
Lokkhir chheler jonno tai kinechhe notun nappy
Durga ma bollo tokhon ‘amaro kichhu chai’
Gujarat gie notun nano kinlen tini tai.
Dhoni:se to bujhlam,kintu ok dhokate gie ami porechhi moha fasade
Sehwager sathe kotha nei,rotechhe,puro mediate.
Bhim:tomari ba dosh ki,desh bideshe khalo
Mediar samne porle baje boke falo
Tateo tomar dosh nei,chapta..amio bujhi guru
Amakeo to bhangte hoechhilo asto lohar uru..
Dhoni:tobuo to public pressure face koro ni,baba
Mone hoe jano ‘saper chhobol’,asto ‘bagher thaba’
Tobuoto IPL a inspiration chhilo koto
Cheerleaderra nachto jokhon,dhukpukani hoto
Chhotto mini,puchke choli,dekhbo bole
elam ami kaka
Ekhane eshe dekhi sala,apadmostok dhaka.
Bhim:public pressure bujhi,desher lok ja hoechhe
Akkebare naughty.
Dhoni:tar jonnoi to jonosonkha 140 koti(pagla chulke ne)
Ta ebar apni jan dada,khelbo ami akhon
Char hakabo amon ami,akkebare makhon
Terefure dhorbo pishe calypsoder amon
Gaibe ora sobai mile,chhere de ma akhon.
Of blogs and pubs........
Blogging is the happening thing these days.Almost everybody is taking to blogging(including yours truly) as if the entire world had been waiting for a piece of their mind.I remember the same thing happening with social networking some 5 years back.Everyone suddenly became so interested in socialising that in about a years time,we had more accounts than there were computers.And I,being the ‘trendy and hip’ person that I am,got myself an Orkut account.And boy,was it a good place to fritter away the hours.You could write endlessly about yourself,and myself,being the interesting person that I perceived myself to be,wrote about a page.Of course,there were always the nittywittys,who went with ‘surprise,surprise’(what,a chicken pops out of your mouth every time you open yours???),and sometimes,to show that they embodied ATTITUDE like nobody else ever did,went with,’my profile,my wish,kyon bolu???’.
And then came blogging,and people began to write about anything and everything that came to their mind.One of my friends actually wrote a full length essay on ATTITUDE.And there was this other blog,where a guy actually describes how he put the blessings of his dog to good use,by getting a rose to blossom on it.Al Gore must have been penguin dancing on reading the blog.And there was another blog,in which a guy rambles on endlessly about his failed affair,like we would be really interested.Please,can you spare us the annotations of your love life,you had a failed affair,big deal!I get dumped by girls every day.Do you find me writing about them?Just the other day I got dumped by a girl,who,blandly told me ‘you cant go out with me anymore’.Not like that,I cant.And so I insisted.My legs still hadn't parted me,how could she be so certain that I could not go out with her.But she was a girl ,and they always win.They have that intuition thing.Wish I could get some of that.
So,when I narrated this heart wrenching event to my friend,he took pity to my troubles and told me a good place to pick up girls.Pubs.
And so I went to a pub the next day,and sat their,having my drink,and somehow,managing to go completely unnoticed.I can swear a girl almost walked right through me,quite oblivious to my presence.So,I went back home and reported about the proceedings of that day to my friend.And he told me that I had done it all wrong,that I had to give some sort of signal that I was interested in a particular girl.And so I went the next day,back to the very same pub,this time though,accompanied by my friend,and sat there like an idiot,my eyebrows arching upward to meet my hairline everytime a girl looked in my direction.But nobody paid me any attention until a guy wearing a tee shirt and a ring on one ear,who was sitting right behind the girl I had been talking to in ‘Morse code’ all evening,walked right upto me and offered me a drink.That's when I decided to leave and rest on my bachelorhood.
And things rarely turn out as they are supposed to,and going by Murphy(not Eddy,the funny guy) ,they always turn for the worse.After Aila,one would have hoped for things to cool down a little in Amar Bangla.But the Firy Lady,well,she is getting hotter by the day(oh,dont take it otherwise),and she is singeing the Enlightened Lord in her fire.And after her mind numbing rendition of ‘kano korle erokom,nano’,now she is reportedly honing her guns against the enlightened lord’s proposed ‘3 days of continuous earth hour’,as soon as the aila had dissipated,with her rendition of ‘alo amar alo’. And she also has a solution for the flood problems,unleashed upon vast areas of rural Bengal by Aila in,’Ai mere watan ke logon,zara ankh mein bharlo pani’(now that's one sure shot way of dealing with the flood problem).And to give her idea some momentum,she performed the song to rapturing applause on national television.Man,I really envy her,is she talented or what!She is a brilliant singer,she is an awesome painter(though this talent finds vent only in presence of media persons and in public places),she can go without food for who knows how long(who can forget her famous’ami mudi khabo na’, and she actually did go without mudi and telebhaja for a full month) and i am sure,with time,we will get to know that she does a lot more than mere ‘Rajniti’.And she has reportedly paid back Alu in his own currency,over his remark that she would sink the ‘ku jhik jhiks’,saying ‘o jodi alu khae to ami alur chop khai.’
And she has announced a 2lakh compensation package for the afflicted,but was quick in adding’I know money can never compensate for life’.And i don't want to look like running an ‘aids awareness programme’ here,but now we know why these aids never reach the afflicted.What a leader!so much said in so few words.
Currently reading Nillohits ‘Tin Shomudra Satash Nodi’,and though not a big fan of Sunil Gangopadhyas alter ego,I have taken quite a liking to this one though and will let you know about it when I finish.Also finished reading Veronika Decides To Die.Will let you guys know about both the books in my next blog.Until then, stay away from pubs,cause I tell you,they are dangerous.
And then came blogging,and people began to write about anything and everything that came to their mind.One of my friends actually wrote a full length essay on ATTITUDE.And there was this other blog,where a guy actually describes how he put the blessings of his dog to good use,by getting a rose to blossom on it.Al Gore must have been penguin dancing on reading the blog.And there was another blog,in which a guy rambles on endlessly about his failed affair,like we would be really interested.Please,can you spare us the annotations of your love life,you had a failed affair,big deal!I get dumped by girls every day.Do you find me writing about them?Just the other day I got dumped by a girl,who,blandly told me ‘you cant go out with me anymore’.Not like that,I cant.And so I insisted.My legs still hadn't parted me,how could she be so certain that I could not go out with her.But she was a girl ,and they always win.They have that intuition thing.Wish I could get some of that.
So,when I narrated this heart wrenching event to my friend,he took pity to my troubles and told me a good place to pick up girls.Pubs.
And so I went to a pub the next day,and sat their,having my drink,and somehow,managing to go completely unnoticed.I can swear a girl almost walked right through me,quite oblivious to my presence.So,I went back home and reported about the proceedings of that day to my friend.And he told me that I had done it all wrong,that I had to give some sort of signal that I was interested in a particular girl.And so I went the next day,back to the very same pub,this time though,accompanied by my friend,and sat there like an idiot,my eyebrows arching upward to meet my hairline everytime a girl looked in my direction.But nobody paid me any attention until a guy wearing a tee shirt and a ring on one ear,who was sitting right behind the girl I had been talking to in ‘Morse code’ all evening,walked right upto me and offered me a drink.That's when I decided to leave and rest on my bachelorhood.
And things rarely turn out as they are supposed to,and going by Murphy(not Eddy,the funny guy) ,they always turn for the worse.After Aila,one would have hoped for things to cool down a little in Amar Bangla.But the Firy Lady,well,she is getting hotter by the day(oh,dont take it otherwise),and she is singeing the Enlightened Lord in her fire.And after her mind numbing rendition of ‘kano korle erokom,nano’,now she is reportedly honing her guns against the enlightened lord’s proposed ‘3 days of continuous earth hour’,as soon as the aila had dissipated,with her rendition of ‘alo amar alo’. And she also has a solution for the flood problems,unleashed upon vast areas of rural Bengal by Aila in,’Ai mere watan ke logon,zara ankh mein bharlo pani’(now that's one sure shot way of dealing with the flood problem).And to give her idea some momentum,she performed the song to rapturing applause on national television.Man,I really envy her,is she talented or what!She is a brilliant singer,she is an awesome painter(though this talent finds vent only in presence of media persons and in public places),she can go without food for who knows how long(who can forget her famous’ami mudi khabo na’, and she actually did go without mudi and telebhaja for a full month) and i am sure,with time,we will get to know that she does a lot more than mere ‘Rajniti’.And she has reportedly paid back Alu in his own currency,over his remark that she would sink the ‘ku jhik jhiks’,saying ‘o jodi alu khae to ami alur chop khai.’
And she has announced a 2lakh compensation package for the afflicted,but was quick in adding’I know money can never compensate for life’.And i don't want to look like running an ‘aids awareness programme’ here,but now we know why these aids never reach the afflicted.What a leader!so much said in so few words.
Currently reading Nillohits ‘Tin Shomudra Satash Nodi’,and though not a big fan of Sunil Gangopadhyas alter ego,I have taken quite a liking to this one though and will let you know about it when I finish.Also finished reading Veronika Decides To Die.Will let you guys know about both the books in my next blog.Until then, stay away from pubs,cause I tell you,they are dangerous.
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