Sixty years after..

This poem is more of an after thought,my wondering as to how childhood friends would behave if they were to meet after some 60 years or so.I was inspired to write this poem after reading a poem by cutest angel about two child hood friends,their exploits on a summer afternoon and how suddenly,it all changed.Please do read the original poem by cutest angel on http://cutestangel.wordpress.com/2009/07/02/that-summer/.

Sixty years after..


The morning dawned,enshrouded in a bitter chill
Vision murked by the thickening fog
Clouds engulfing the ever lonely hill
Trees crooked and shorn,upon us was the winter fall

Walking down a desolate alley,i met her
Frailed and thinned,beauty ravaged by merciless time
Bones projecting out,veins standing out through the skinny veil
I met her in the winter of my life,lucy,my childhood friend

But time had not taken it all,a familiar smile still lingered on her lips
Slightly bent by age's burden,mind slightly deranged
Shorn of her youth,with nothing left to do but pine
And pined i for how my childhood friend had changed

And we talked at length,as the light around us dimmed
About how unreal and distant memories seemed
And talked we of that summer long ago,those days of yore
About how change was a familiar foe,but it hurt no more
For pined i no more for how it all had changed
I was glad to be back with her,lucy,my childhood friend

change is in the air.......

As night befalls and the hungry wolves howl
Prose gathers power,terse verses no more
For poems can no more placate the crumbling plasters
Depravity so acrid,wounds so sore

Is that a Pegasus flying in the sky
Or is it the starving mind misled
A cry rings out amidst the brewing storm
'Veins snapped,blood spewing,coloured all Red

Violent winds swirling by
Violence is the name of the tide
Fuelled by waves of desperation
Riding a hungry ride

Their faces wear a look so grim
Emptiness rule their heart and soul
As we,stuffing ourselves to the brim
Push them down this ruddy hole

So they want their wish fulfilled,tired tirade no more
As anguished cries fill the air,cries of revenge
Starved of food but not of desire
For better or worse they no longer care
All they want now is Change.


and i tried my hand at writing a sonnet....and here is the best i could come up with.........sorry to put you guys through this torture.....and sorry again that its in bengali.......


Dekhechho mrityu, kobi, karoni upolobdhi,-
Nijo antare? Byartho bhikkhuker samaaj
Nirashraye dhaay, Ishwar-o paay laaj
Achchhaadi, jom-dwarer upal abodhi.
Bahe kato jhar, Mrityu-r songeet gaahi
Karne ki pashe tabo? Uddhato se ahobaan
Haane aghaat, kare charom apomaan
Kabyer bish sudhaake, dripto bhasha baahi.

Jeebonke karo barnon kobi, -Mrityuke,-
Jao bhoole, Dakho suteebro Anondo ros
boy amritodhara roope, premer dheu.
Bhoktir Shubho jyoti aachhre pore booke,-
pobitro sourav, hridayer parobosh
Kamponer shuru, se ki dekhe phale keu?

A Suit That Suits......

The suit or rather the business suit for men has a hyper-vaunted position in the world of fashion.

I came across this statement in a certain blog,and this statement could not possibly have been more right.It is not surprising that in the boring lame duck world of men's fashion,the suit almost commands the position of the holy grail.Men,unlike women,do not have,at their disposal the huge variety of dresses to choose from-miniskirts,long skirts,slit skirts,asymmetrical skirts,pants,trousers,tops,bikinis(yes,its not merely a swimwear anymore),spaghetti tops,funky tops-the list is endless.and,even after being blessed with this huge variety of dresses to choose from,they seem not content,and have,with an open heart,made mens dresses pretty much their own-trousers,jeans,tee-shirts,even the pyjamas-they have ventured into the male's dominion of fashion,and have owned it.But men have not really been endowed with the same huge heart and open mind to make everything their own.Imagine a man,walking around in a spaghetti top and a short asymmetrical miniskirt...no..the mere thought is as repulsive as the man who shows such courage and bad taste.

So stuck we are,with so very little to choose from in terms of dressing,the only choice is in terms of having a collar or no collar and the shirt or pant being either full or short(not too short though,you may enjoy looking at a lady in a miniskirt,but a man in a mini pant is to us what Nano is to Mamata).So cling we on,on to our beloved suits,our holy grail.Of late though,designers have tried all sorts of daredevil innovations with men's dresses-a button more at the back(now,that thing can never come out through that small a slit),a slit where your pockets are supposed to be(no need for purse,no cell phones either),asymmetrical trousers(so that you look like a thief whose pant had been chopped off by chasing dogs) and much more.But till date,i have not seen even a single person with either the courage or stupidity to try these out in public.So the suit remains. This suit fetish is so apparent that no businessman is willing to allow his suit to have even a single wrinkle even if they sit in Yoga inspired extremely contorted positions in low cost economy class seats. No wonder then, even if it’s a huge inconvenience, male executives can often be seen walking around city streets holding their business suits by the hanger, an intensely purposeful look in their eyes. May be we all see it as our Lady Justice moment. Always keep in a cover, always keep it straight, only to be dry cleaned, never expose to rain, never wear unless in combination, the five commandments of suit owning imposes a more stringent religion of its own.

And however out of place,impractical and vain a suit may look,considering the oppressive hot and humid conditions that predominate the vast majority of the subcontinent,we would more readily usher in the next ice age than let go of our suits,because that's what suits us best.

shit,grissho,borsha
coat pant e bhorsha.......

A Different Flavour.........

The skies were the darkest grey I had seen all monsoon this year,had been the whole day.Ever since i had woken up today,the skies had been threatening to play spoilsport on my afternoon.And just as the clock struck 1:30 and I was about to go out,the skies broke in a heavy downpour.So I was stuck,stuck for the rest of the day with nothing to do,nowhere to go.I stared out from my windows for a few moments,blankly,vaguely,at the steady drizzle comming down.No,it would be mere foolery to venture out in this weather.So,with nothing better to do,I switched on my television set.But there are certain days when nothing seems to go right for you,and today was one of them.The remote had run out of battery,and there was no spare battery in the entire house.And so there was I,stuck indoors on a rainy day,with a television set in which,only one channel was available.And in a vile conspiracy,that one channel that I was stuck with was Doordarshan.Talk of bad luck!But a few minutes of Doordarshan never fails to do that one thing-stir those childhood memories,something it had been such an integral part of.And as those lost memories came flooding back,I switched of my television,exclaiming to myself,'what do i have to watch on television anyways?'.

Its true.Doordarshan never fails to revive those memories of childhood.The satellite channels had not yet made their foray into our lives,Sas Bahus were as alien to us as fishes are to snow laden mountain tops and a mere two or three channels were available to us.And yet,we never complained.Compare this with today's 'wish karo dish karo' age where we so frequently find ourselves complaining that there is absolutely nothing to watch on television.And,yet,in those holocene days of our lives,a mere three channels were sufficient to satiate our thirst for entertainment.Waking up to 'jungle jungle pata chala hai' on weekends followed by Alice In Wonderland,life had seemed easy and innocent.On the nights,having dinner,with our eyes firmly fixed on our television sets,watching Chitrahaar had almost become a part of our daily routines.And it was impossible to imagine holidays without Doordarshan.Its hard to find a child in Bengal,of my age,who didn't watch Chhuti Chhuti.That one programme so lighted up our days and made those lousy afternoons so much more bearable.I can still remember that song 'bajlo chhutir ghonta',a song that signalled the end to our long wait all morning for the clock to strike 12 noon and Chhuti Chhuti to begin.Here was my first tryst with Hollywood and spider man,and my first watch of that one movie that was so much an essential and integral part of any Bengali child's growing up,'Goopi Gayen Bagha Bayen'.

Those years are long gone,and nothing can possibly turn back the clocks,and gone with it is our beloved Doordarshan.Is it us that has changed,or is it Doordarshans quality that has undergone such a steady and fast decline.One thing however remains certain,that however much we might cringe at the mere sight of Doordarshan,our childhoods would have been incomplete but for its presence.For in the soft boards of our intensely vulnerable and pregnable childhood,Doordarshan has made a permanent place.

Hope I didn't bore you guys with these meaningless consternations,for whats gone is gone,but sometimes,its necessary to look at life in retrospective.

happy and GAY.........

Rule:opposites attract.

About two fifty years ago,when the liberators of the United States entailed upon creating a New World and a New Order,they announced their intentions of creating a new country,free of inequalityand injustice and every vermin which plagued their society at that time.They made clear their intentions of creating a country,truly happy and gay(which,again means happy).Now,celebrities always have a tendency of being misquoted and misinterpreted,and they were no exceptions.And the common people,being loyal followers of their leaders,took upon themselves,the responsibility of realising the dreams of their vanguards .and 250 years down the line,they succeeded in realising the dreams of their ancestors,creating a country in which opposites need not necessarily attract,a country,truly,happy and GAY.Men wearing earrings became a common sight,and even more common became men asking men out on dates.And as American imperialism grew,these men crossed the thresholds of their own country,and gays became a world wide phenomenon.And the American society today can broadly be divided into two groups-happy and gay and happy to be GAY.

Now,I personally have nothing against gays.Infact,i like them(oh,no,don't take it otherwise).They,for one part,have a great sense of style.And they are really artsy.If are into artsy,you are gay,or,otherwise,you simply are not that good at arts.they have produced some great singers(Little John,By George Cycle,and Axel Rosy).

But not all gays are that intelligent or artsy.A woman,on being being asked what she thought of same sex relations being legalised in India,gayly(happily,i mean) quipped 'it feels great to be legal at last'.Lady,its your unconventional relationship that's been legalised,not unconventional you.If you weren't legal when you were born,chances of you being legal,ever,are pretty slim.Yes,gay marriages are now legal in Apna Bharat.And the courts,I feel,have made the right decision.Buladi,simply was not working.Really,yshe has to remain Buladi all day long to be effective.Can't be Bula in the morning and Anjan Dutta in the evening.But she simply cant reamain Bula all day long,through no fault of hers.We all know 'subha ka Bula jab sham ko ghar laut ta hai to use Bula nahin kehte'.So gays are the way to go.No need of family planning,no need of Bula.I infact wish that all men become gays.That's my only chance of getting a woman.

And I have been kind of having an arguement with a guy,Goldie(now,who names a male child Goldie????) over his blog 'humanity,be ashamed,thou art naked'.Now,what with all the Mallika Sherawats and Kareena Kapoors,I always thought that humanity was in a bikini.But this guy seems to think otherwise.But only recently did I realise what a visionary this guy is.The rate at which bollywood actersses are dropping their clothes, they will soon be naked,atleast he hopes so.And to quote Andy.'hope is a good thing,perhaps the best of things,and no good thing ever dies.i will be hoping to see you again,and see you naked..'.Way to go man.What foresight!!!!!!!
Thats it for today guys,will be writing again,as soon as I find some suitable excuse to torture you all,and some suitable crap to write about.


P.S:This blog is not in any way,intended to offend anybody.So,be you Goldie or Gay,please don't take this to heart.I promise all the gays out there,I will make it up to you guys and come out with a blog condemning heterosexuality,as soon as I can find some fault with it.

of brooms and grooms......

‘You have made a considerably wise decision,you cannot possibly go wrong with Shree charma’.’Will they last long?’.’As long as you’.He was right,one could not possibly go wrong with Shree Charma,they had become real big,were all over the place,in news papers and roadside hoardings.I had made a considerably wise decision,and if my hands so permitted,I might have even patted myself.What more,the shoes even came with a one year warranty.And I returned home happy,happy at having made such a wise decision and at having saved myself a few bucks.Those Kata shoes may be good,but they are anything but cheap.

It was only the next morning,as I walked my first paces in my brand new shoes(some say 'moch mochie'),that I realized,to full extent,the implications of the salesman’s words.The shoes were so heavy,I could barely lift my feet,and my knees felt like coming off.It was then that I realised that the shoes would surely outlast me,because if I walked any more in those shoes,I would not certainly last much longer.But I kept walking in those shoes,to scared to ask for money for a a new pair of shoes.But when I could take it no longer,I somehow summoned up the courage,walked up to my mother and explained everything to her.And she immediately let rip,giving me a dose of her ‘opodartho,okalkushmando...’.And I have no idea how I can possibly be that.I was born in January,and pumpkin,as far as I know,is very much a winter vegetable.So a mere kushmando maybe,but no way an ‘okalkushmando’.But try telling that to them and the next thing you find is a broom sticking up yours.Its very true what they say-‘The hand that sweeps the floor brooms the world’.

Or ‘The hand that brooms the world keeps it clean’.Almost everybody including celebrities,school students and any body else who can wield a broom has taken to sweeping,or brooming the city clean.We even had an imported sweeper in Sweepy Waugh(everybody knows,imported sweepers are a lot better than their Indian counterparts).Gone are the days of yore,when the broom used to be a powerful weapon in the hands of the Lolonas(tor mukhe jhata mari,mukhpora minshe).Those were the days when the broom went shoulder to shoulder with another powerful weapon of hubby destruction,the Bonti.But the lolonas of today seem to have found chotipeta a more potent weapon than jhatapeta(mainly because of the slipper's ready availability).But the broom has found new ares of use,forsay,in literature(jhatar moto gof).Jhat or Jhata is one of the most popular nicknames doing the rounds in college circles these days.in every college,in every year,there's atleast one ‘Jhata’(there was one Jhata in our year,who,on top of being Jhata,as if that wasn't enough torture,was unlucky as hell.).And the Firy Lady is reportedly so addicted to sweeping,that she has been sweeping every election for the past one year.And much before Ratane Ratan Chene’s Nano vision,Hori Poddar had given us the cheapest means of air transport,the Broom.And after having lost all faith in the politicians,and probably inspired by Shukanta’s ‘pranpone a prithibir sorabo jonjal’,people have rediscovered the magic of the broom,and have taken to brooming the city clean in a big way,or,may we say,grooming it into Kollolini Tilottoma.

And talking of grooms,guys get ready,because Hawas Ki Pakhi is getting all maidy.Yes yes,running in all television sets near you,presenting ‘Aap ki Pakhi’.So guys,suit up(or down,don’t know which way she prefers it),because Pakhi can be all yours.All you need to do is,keep faith in Kamran Asami's famous 'jibhe prem kore jei jon,sei jon sebichhe Ishwar'.

Note:Marrying Pakhi is subject to market risks.Please read the offer document carefully before committing.That's it for now guys,bye,see you later.

The Meaws are burning bright....

Over the past few days,there has been great debate over the Maoists,whether they are really there.For one part,I believe they are.Not in the jungles maybe,but surely all over the newspapers and news channels,on Biman mind and Buddhas,on Mamatas and Pranabs,on my lips and yours,they truly are everywhere.Mamta cant see them,even if they sleep with her.Buddha,somehow,sees them everywhere,even in the Meaw of his pet cat.And if Biman has his way,he would probably have his shadow handcuffed .So I decided to come up with my own version of things.

Meaw Meaw burning bright
Meaws to the left and right
Sleepless vigils day and night
Tthe Meaws are burning bright

In the blinding heat,through the monsoon night
Guns slung across,the armymen stride
For its the Meaws they fight
They know not a moment of respite

Stuck to stealing fish no more
The meaws like tigers roar
Mines bursting left and right
For its the meaws they fight

To the left,to the right,theres a Meaw everywhere
Even one on Buddha’s receding hair
In hiding,in open,the meaws are everywhere
Theres a meaw hiding under bimans chair

Cruel the meaws are ,devoid of all Mamta
How fight we against such might
The Meaws must be gotten rid of
Left as they are,the Meaws are never Right

Meaws to the left and right
The Meaws are burning bright.


Veronica Decides To Die,after the first read,i must say,left me quite dissapointment.There seems to be nothing wrong with the book,but it suffers from the same problems any translation does-the authors essence is missing.Its a pity that I dont know the language the book was originally written in.
Adios until next time.

Michael 'BAD'son.......

Its raining outside,and its comming down pretty hard,one can almost quip in with the ‘raining cats and dogs’ thing(no wonder there are so many stray dogs and cats roaming the streets of Kollolini Tilottoma).So with nothing better to do,i decided to get down to writing a blog.Michael Jackson,the king of pop passed away this weekend.And i was trying to imagine what would happen when he set his dancing feet on paradise.
************************************************************************************

Scene:Heaven

Urvashi:Shorgo rajjey hulusthul,debraj beshamal
Nacher moddhe kete galo ‘dere kete’ taal

(enter michael jackson,in a black suit)

Michael:Taal hoe jae betaal,chhele hoe mey
MJ elo shorgey,sobai dakho chey

Urvash:Eta abar ke?sada kalo bhut!
Mathae badha jhuti,poshak odbhut!

Michael:Ami Michael

Urvashi:O.Modhushudon da!
Ta apnar a obostha holo ki kore
R apnar sei Virappan marka gofjorai ba kothae

Michael:Nana,ami se Michael noi,ami MJ
Michael Jackson

Urvashi:O,apni remake version?Agey bolben to!

Michael:Motei na
Ami akebarei original,piracyte nei mot
Nortoki hoe amae chenen na,bhari udbhot!

Urvashi:Apnar shobdo chayan shune mone hochhe apni naach gaan koren

Michael:Thiki dhorechhe
Ami Nachio
Gaio
Korio!
Urvashi:Ta ekhane ki orte asha hoechhe?

Michael:Ki korte r ashbo?ekhane to r keu jamaishosti korte ashe na!
Ta eshe kharap lagchhe na,Urvashi ke dekha.......
Tate je amar khub agroho ta noe
Bachcharai amar beshi sokha

Urvashi:O,apni bujhi bachchader khub bhalo basen

Michael:Amar prem nirbhajal,mediatey tobu obhijog hobe
Ami bachhader bhalobasi,akdom onnorokom bhabe
Testosterone khela dekhae ikirmikir montorey
Michael je dhukte chae sob shishuri ondorey!

urvashi:O bujhechhi,thak,r bolte hobe na.
Ta ki naach nachen apni?
Bharatnatyam na Katthak?

Michael:Kori ami Moondance,kolar khosae horkaitis
Sathe gailei gondogol,case jaundice

Urvashi:Ta ki ki gaan geychhen apni?

Michael:Amar sera gaangulor kotha bolte gele prothomei bolte hoe
Beat It mane Otae Maar
Tachhara bachchader abbhontorin soundorjo nie Pretty Young Thing
Tobe je gaanta amar sobche priyo,ta holo,
Baby Be Mine mane Bachcha Tui Amar.

Urvashi:ta apnar kono gaan ektu shonaben.........

Michael:Amar oprokashito akta gaan shonai apnake
Bhoktigiti.....

( Michael singing and dancing)

Dietingey sae din,gymetey saradin
Kareena kapoor jano chire chapta alpin
aooo
Kastey ar haturi,gaan gey dhan kate chasa
Nano holo onu’Modi’to,Kapalkundola shorbonasha
aoooooo
Bakruddho MahaBuddho diplomatic kano
Kapalkundola eshe kinapilo Nano
aooooooo
Nandite fondi,Singure bidhi bam
Babri nipat jak,Ajodhyay Ramnam
aooooo
In pin safetypin,Manmohan minmin
Gorbeta,Pirakata Mao kobolito din din
aoooooo
Lalgarh,mahajhor,Bongodeshe Aila
Victoriae hathe hath,Majnu ar Laila
aoooo

(Micheler polaeon)

Urvashi:R a,kothae jachhen apni?

Michael:Erokom gaan gey public kothae jae boss?

Urvashi:Kothae boss?

Michael:Maer bhogey!
Eaish!

EXIT..

********************************************


The circumstances of Michael's death remain as mysterious as the man himself.Was he a flawed genious.Maybe he was.Maybe that's what made him so popular,so irresistable.Whatever one writes,how many pages one fills up,one cannot possibly fully and justly illustrate the genious of this man.The King Of Pop maybe no more,but his creations promise to survive times erosion.May he never fade from public memory.May we remember him always as the ‘King of Pop’.

India 'Shiney'ing........

I tell you,its really hard,and taxing as well,I mean blogging.Its not easy,trying to be funny all the time,and specially for a guy like me,who cannot write for his life.And whats more,I am obsessed with it,and I find myself trying to cook up punch lines all 24 hours-in my sleep,as I get up from bed,while taking a shower,even when performing my morning rituals(that's when I essentially give back to the world what I had taken from it the previous day),and that last one is the most disturbing,it can really ruin the rest of your day.And even with all this effort what I am able to come up with are mere lines-that are intended to be funny but are actually pretty lame,and sometimes,in bad taste.That's because I end up trying to crack jokes at things i shouldn't actually be.
But it seems like I am not the only weirdo out here.It seems like suddenly the entire world has gotten into one big race,with every one trying his brains out to appear weird.And i tell you,this race is no hundred metre sprint,it is a marathon.Nobody wants to be left behind-the Cool Guy suddenly loses his cool and leads out his chowkidars in a kuch kawaj infront of the media,then starts going in to bat with a sleeping pillow,the Uglies first go mad at the Monkey for going fishing(Buchanan thought that he was doing it for Lordie,who,supposedly,is a Mechho Bangali),and then,again,this time for drinking,and actually send him back home,so that he can have a few more sips.But the person who has suddenly taken the lead in the last few laps is our very own Shoeni Guija.On being asked by the police why he had done it,and,that too forcibly,Shoeni,whose lawyer is reportedly a very suave guy(as they all are,they make an entire life out of escaping through the back door or,as Nasiruddin in 3 Deewarein would say,patli gali) was quick with his retort ‘because she wold not let me do it otherwise’.Now thats some logic,cant argue with that.’But why did you need to do it at all?’Now,you cannot possibly reason with a man this unreasonable.Why?Haven't you heard about that opposite sex thing.But really,I think Shoeny should be sentenced to atleast life imprisonment.Really,he has shamed the entire acting community.Even 70 year old heroes get the girls they want,to sleep with them.And Shoeni was refused by his maid!Shameful for a hero.And what dearth has he of girls?I am certain there are hundreds of girls who would pay to get screwed by him.Really,he is an insult to human intelligence.
And I have received my first ever comment(actually,I received it about two weeks ago).And talking of weirdos,this guy actually has the time to not merely read my blog but even comment on it.But he is a real colourful guy,atleast his name suggests so.And he somehow found some sort of connection between my blog ‘Of blogs and pubs’ and ‘viral web 2.0 technologies’.And though I am not sure what that is,I believe i have produced my masterpiece(like you know,when you are working on something and produce results entirely different’).I must be a genius!What colourful imagination that guy has!thanks man!
And finished reading Nillohit’s ‘Tin Shomudro Satash Nodi’ and it was an entertaining ride,albeit,quite different from anything else i have read till date.So,my advice is,if you can find time,and the money,do give it a try,you wont be disappointed.That's it for now.Au Revoir.

the one before the match.....

Been quite busy over the past week,and so,never quite couldfind time to come up with a post.Anyways,the Indians take on the Calypsos in tonights match,and captain Dhoni got a surprise visit from lord Bhim(of Mahbharata fame).Given below are excerpts of what transpired between them....sorry that its in bengali.......


Dhoni(singing):ei match jodi na sesh hoe,tobe kamon hoto tumi bolo to?
Jodi prithibita chhokkar deesh hoe tobe kamon hoto tumi bolo to

(enter bhim-hathe goda nie)

Bhim:chhokka chhokka bole korchho je ato thatta!
Bhalo lagbe mathae porle bhitupornor gatta?
Khela chhere gaan gey dichhis kaaje faki!
Chhokka nie ato dorod......d.k.lodh naki?


Dhoni:a chhokka se chhokka noere pagla,cricket ki ta janis?
Na jene sob byapare matha golate asish

Bhim:khub je jhi jhi dekhachhhis,janis ami ke?
Thakis to bhablar moto,khelar somae,prietyr dike chey.(total)
Egaro jonke eka samlae abhimonnui prothom
Toder theke or kapa bolto kothae kom
R jonty bolis,'arjuner lokkhobed' bol a janis kake?
O jodi khelto,sob ball e lagto oi legstumper takey
Ar batting ar goda chalanoe mil achhe koto!
Amakeo to lorar somae stump samlate hoto!

Dhoni:tomae abar chinbo na,hangla,bhari petuk
Khali to rakkhosi potate,die sexy 'killer look'.
Chalate to goda,roab dekhachho boro!
Shoaib bata ball korle bat ta akbar dhoro!
Ta ki korte asa hoechhe.....??

Bhim:kartikta dole chance peychhe,bodyguard chai
Shib bolle,bhai bhim,tumi e jao bhai.

Shib babaji to bhishon khushi,akkebare happy
Lokkhir chheler jonno tai kinechhe notun nappy
Durga ma bollo tokhon ‘amaro kichhu chai’
Gujarat gie notun nano kinlen tini tai.

Dhoni:se to bujhlam,kintu ok dhokate gie ami porechhi moha fasade
Sehwager sathe kotha nei,rotechhe,puro mediate.

Bhim:tomari ba dosh ki,desh bideshe khalo
Mediar samne porle baje boke falo
Tateo tomar dosh nei,chapta..amio bujhi guru
Amakeo to bhangte hoechhilo asto lohar uru..

Dhoni:tobuo to public pressure face koro ni,baba
Mone hoe jano ‘saper chhobol’,asto ‘bagher thaba’
Tobuoto IPL a inspiration chhilo koto
Cheerleaderra nachto jokhon,dhukpukani hoto
Chhotto mini,puchke choli,dekhbo bole
elam ami kaka
Ekhane eshe dekhi sala,apadmostok dhaka.

Bhim:public pressure bujhi,desher lok ja hoechhe
Akkebare naughty.

Dhoni:tar jonnoi to jonosonkha 140 koti(pagla chulke ne)
Ta ebar apni jan dada,khelbo ami akhon
Char hakabo amon ami,akkebare makhon
Terefure dhorbo pishe calypsoder amon
Gaibe ora sobai mile,chhere de ma akhon.

Of blogs and pubs........

Blogging is the happening thing these days.Almost everybody is taking to blogging(including yours truly) as if the entire world had been waiting for a piece of their mind.I remember the same thing happening with social networking some 5 years back.Everyone suddenly became so interested in socialising that in about a years time,we had more accounts than there were computers.And I,being the ‘trendy and hip’ person that I am,got myself an Orkut account.And boy,was it a good place to fritter away the hours.You could write endlessly about yourself,and myself,being the interesting person that I perceived myself to be,wrote about a page.Of course,there were always the nittywittys,who went with ‘surprise,surprise’(what,a chicken pops out of your mouth every time you open yours???),and sometimes,to show that they embodied ATTITUDE like nobody else ever did,went with,’my profile,my wish,kyon bolu???’.
And then came blogging,and people began to write about anything and everything that came to their mind.One of my friends actually wrote a full length essay on ATTITUDE.And there was this other blog,where a guy actually describes how he put the blessings of his dog to good use,by getting a rose to blossom on it.Al Gore must have been penguin dancing on reading the blog.And there was another blog,in which a guy rambles on endlessly about his failed affair,like we would be really interested.Please,can you spare us the annotations of your love life,you had a failed affair,big deal!I get dumped by girls every day.Do you find me writing about them?Just the other day I got dumped by a girl,who,blandly told me ‘you cant go out with me anymore’.Not like that,I cant.And so I insisted.My legs still hadn't parted me,how could she be so certain that I could not go out with her.But she was a girl ,and they always win.They have that intuition thing.Wish I could get some of that.
So,when I narrated this heart wrenching event to my friend,he took pity to my troubles and told me a good place to pick up girls.Pubs.
And so I went to a pub the next day,and sat their,having my drink,and somehow,managing to go completely unnoticed.I can swear a girl almost walked right through me,quite oblivious to my presence.So,I went back home and reported about the proceedings of that day to my friend.And he told me that I had done it all wrong,that I had to give some sort of signal that I was interested in a particular girl.And so I went the next day,back to the very same pub,this time though,accompanied by my friend,and sat there like an idiot,my eyebrows arching upward to meet my hairline everytime a girl looked in my direction.But nobody paid me any attention until a guy wearing a tee shirt and a ring on one ear,who was sitting right behind the girl I had been talking to in ‘Morse code’ all evening,walked right upto me and offered me a drink.That's when I decided to leave and rest on my bachelorhood.
And things rarely turn out as they are supposed to,and going by Murphy(not Eddy,the funny guy) ,they always turn for the worse.After Aila,one would have hoped for things to cool down a little in Amar Bangla.But the Firy Lady,well,she is getting hotter by the day(oh,dont take it otherwise),and she is singeing the Enlightened Lord in her fire.And after her mind numbing rendition of ‘kano korle erokom,nano’,now she is reportedly honing her guns against the enlightened lord’s proposed ‘3 days of continuous earth hour’,as soon as the aila had dissipated,with her rendition of ‘alo amar alo’. And she also has a solution for the flood problems,unleashed upon vast areas of rural Bengal by Aila in,’Ai mere watan ke logon,zara ankh mein bharlo pani’(now that's one sure shot way of dealing with the flood problem).And to give her idea some momentum,she performed the song to rapturing applause on national television.Man,I really envy her,is she talented or what!She is a brilliant singer,she is an awesome painter(though this talent finds vent only in presence of media persons and in public places),she can go without food for who knows how long(who can forget her famous’ami mudi khabo na’, and she actually did go without mudi and telebhaja for a full month) and i am sure,with time,we will get to know that she does a lot more than mere ‘Rajniti’.And she has reportedly paid back Alu in his own currency,over his remark that she would sink the ‘ku jhik jhiks’,saying ‘o jodi alu khae to ami alur chop khai.’
And she has announced a 2lakh compensation package for the afflicted,but was quick in adding’I know money can never compensate for life’.And i don't want to look like running an ‘aids awareness programme’ here,but now we know why these aids never reach the afflicted.What a leader!so much said in so few words.
Currently reading Nillohits ‘Tin Shomudra Satash Nodi’,and though not a big fan of Sunil Gangopadhyas alter ego,I have taken quite a liking to this one though and will let you know about it when I finish.Also finished reading Veronika Decides To Die.Will let you guys know about both the books in my next blog.Until then, stay away from pubs,cause I tell you,they are dangerous.

Khiladion Ka Khiladi

I woke up in the morning today,pressed the on button on my monitor,and as the monitor blinked to life,the first thing I noticed was that sometime at night,one of my friends had left me a message,sometime during midnight,and it read ‘Forca Barca’.And though I still don’t know what that's supposed to mean(I sometimes feel that many of my friends are well versed in about half a dozen languages,while I am still struggling to master two),I guessed that somebody had won yesterdays ‘Sabse Behtar Kaun’ and had emerged ‘Khiladion Ka Khiladi’,and in all probability,it was Barca.And I still don't know why I did what I did then,but what I did was cry out at the top of my voice ‘ahoy’.And it might have been alright in any other place,but when your mother is sleeping in the very next room,you just don’t do that,you just don’t.And before the implications of my unthoughtful act could sink in,there was my mother,out of her room,giving me a dose of her ‘kise ki hoy’.And she did not merely stop there,she also gave me a dose of her ‘kaan mooloo’,and i have a feeling that at the current rate,i might soon be called up by king khan and be offered to become the Kaan Mooloo of their team.(now that the original one is surely retiring,after having his kaan moolooed by every batsman possible during the IPL).
But,really,I was relieved that somebody had actually emerged winner,because the previous night,everything had looked so evenly matched to me,that I had had a feeling that the match might continue for who knows how long(reminds me now of that Kitply ad).And it was with this feeling that I had gone to sleep yesterday,at the conclusion of the first half,which,I must tell you,i thoroughly enjoyed.The score then read 1-0,in favour of the messy team,and as I had predicted,the Leftover had left his mark on the game,and the commentator said that it was an indelible one as well,but I was certain that the Beoda’s team would come back strongly.The reason for such strong belief was the Beoda himself,who,the commentator said,would perform the Houdini act in a remarkable turnaround for his team.But it was only today morning,while going through reviews of the match on the Internet that i realised what that meant.The commentator had been right,infact,the Beoda had performed it to such excruciating levels of perfection that he had become virtually untraceable during the entirety of the second half.And in between,Messy had also scored a goal.
But,what I enjoyed most was the opening ceremony,I had never never seen any thing like that before.I had seen women do norm walk,I had seen them do cat walk,but never had,i,in my life,until yesterday,seen a woman do the goose walk.And it was not one single woman,there were hundreds of them,all with weird paint dos on their faces,and right then I knew that they were as confused to night as me as to who to support.And the commentators,I really envy them,they are so enlightened.As soon as the Leftover had scored the first goal of the match,one of the commentators quipped in,I think he will be really glad to have scored’.Gee,how come that never occurred to us.And even before I had recovered from his previous discourse,he came up with his next thunderbolt,’I think Manchester will try to equalise now’.Now,to read thoughts of another person!!!That requires some special ability.But he had left the best one for the halftime whistle,’I don't think Sir Alex will be too happy that his team has fallen behind’.’cat scan!!’.
And in between all this,our Hyderabadi Biryani has managed to lose yet another match in the first round of a Bara Dhamaka.When she first made her Bara Dhamaka debut against the Lady Giant,she had said that she would someday become a world number one.And she is busy building the pillars for that impending success.I think she is going to make it real big someday.
Did not have time to finish any new book,but here's a recommendation from my old stable.Ruskins Bond’s ‘Delhi Is Not Far’ may not be among his most popular,but sure is an absorbing read,replete with the hallmarks of a classic Ruskin Bond prose-nostalgia,charm,underplayed humour and quiet wisdom.

http://www.mediafire.com/?u233nymzoum

of science.....and sports....

I think people should be a bit more careful when breaking news to others,I really think they should.I had just returned home and somebody on GTalk had left me a message ‘HI today is 100 years of science in INDIA..
and IISC is celebrating it with full glory spread this message to all your friends !!!ahoe the spirit of science and innovation...’.But I must tell you,and I must say I am ashamed to admit so,but I hardly cared,which was kind of reflected in my reply ‘so!’.And pat came the reply’don’t you feel proud?’.And that's when it hit me,the enormity of the occasion.And it hit me so hard that i almost bounced right off my chair and off the ground.But I was so much in awe of science then that all i could blabber out in my pain was,’gravity,thou heartless bitch’.And I was a proud man then,proud to be an Indian,and if anyones chest ever did swell up with pride,mine must have than,but i guess nobodys ever did.Man ,this was a big occasion.Can you believe it,its been 100 years that we have been walking around with test tubes,that even when the Goras had been been here,we were at it all the time,and they did never got a scent of things. Chak de India.Jai ho.We had taken hold of their testtubes and were doing our own mambo jumbo,right under their noses.
But whatever happens,it cannot possibly distract you from the big event today. Man,am i charged up today or what!Why?Was that a question?Are you Indian?I think not,then you wouldn’t be asking such questions.Today is the final of ‘Sabse Achha Kaun’ between the two biggest teams in the world,and I cant just wait for it to begin.No,they are not Indian teams,and I do not share any allegiance to either of the teams,but who cares!Its all over the newspapers,and the news channels,and on anybodys lips,who cares for this world,and they say its going to be a treat,and there will be lots of goals.I don't know what goal you can have in a football match,other than putting the ball in the net,and that counts upto just one goal,but the ‘whos who’ say it and i am going to believe them.
And they say we are going to see the two greatest players in the world, Beoda and Messy(though i was a little sad that they left out my Paternal Uncle,but if they say it,it must be so),and they are going to decide the fate of the match.But you know what i think?I think the beoda will emerge on top.I think the other player’s parents really messed up his future.Really,whoever names his child ‘Messy’?Doesn't matter however messed up one was as a child,you don't name him Messy.Its a huge burden to carry on ones shoulders,to be messy all your life,to live upto it.Learn from us atleast,theres so much to learn from us.We name our children Anit,and i tell you,that's a neat name,no way he is going to mess it up.Nay,i am certain Messy is going to mess it up today.i am certain ‘Alex Ka Bichhda Beta’(i dare not go for word by word translation of his surname,it sounds quite messed up.’FUR GU’.ha ha.nasty!)will have some plans to mess up Messy’s day.But i think you cant have gigs in a football final,that's just plain lame.
But the Beoda must be on his guard today,he may not be able to play as freely as other days,in case Big John turns up in the stands.I hear theres some bad blood between them,ever since Beoda kissed Beeps(now that's what i call a censored name) on the lips(ahoy,poetry),and i don't think Big John will get a better opportunity to mess up Beodas day.You should really be careful while fooling around with other peoples girlfriends,and this is no Rajpal Yadav,its Big John.So i think that kind of evens things out.So i think,it all boils down to those two guys,the Hulk and the Leftover(his mother actually named him’eto’,thats a weird thing to do).But yes, I really think they are going to be the deciding factors.They are real good players,and its time for them to show ‘whos who’.
And i am all charged up,who wouldn't be.Though I don't know the names of more than half the players on either side,and I have rarely watched either of the two teams play,and though I don't yet know which team to support,I can hardly sit still or hold a thought in my head.I think today is going to be a busy day for doctors.You know,we Indians get real emotional when foreign teams face off against each other in such big finals(doomed to the prospect of never participating in them ourselves).
Anyways,Fedex plays again today,so gotta rush.Thats it for now.
By the way,finished reading Sirshendus ‘Collage’,and it was not much of an absorbing read.So,nothing much to say.Bye.

lucky us.....

Was out the whole day today(now,that means something entirely different in NIT),so didn't have the time or the opportunity to catch up on my latest obsession.But really,after Aila evaded Kolkata by a mere 50 kms(i don't know how that is,i can almost swear he was here yesterday),I switched on my television,first thing in the morning(mine starts at 9am),and,lo.there was the Kolkata meteorological department predicting showers the whole day today.And I immediately switched off my television,made plans for the whole day,got dressed and went out.Wow Guldar,during his tenure,had baught a lot of instruments that would help him predict the weather better,but,the weather gods,well,they must have been really pissed with him that the skies pissed on every sunny day he predicted.
And talking of wet weather,well,one person i think should not venture out in this kind of weather and its our very own Firy Lady(now,i could have gone with ‘Lady On Fire’,but i guess that would have been just plain rude,and rather moderately,could have called her ‘Hot Lady’,but i guess that would have been plain obscene’).And just as I was starting to worry about her,there she was on television,and common sense had prevailed,she had decided against going to Delhi.No use getting your fire doused by Aila.And talking of her,I now know who the largest buyer of second hand cars is.Its again,our very own Firy Lady(she went to meet the prime minister in a car which was allegedly,running its last yard.And you talk of her of not being in favour of industrialisation,get a life.i think she feels some real mamta towards these cars.And man,is she sympathetic towards the common people!)
But i think things are not as easy for her as people think them to be.She is up against an equel opponent ,who is equelly powerful,our Enlightened Lord.But I don't think,he can bring the Goodbyes back to Kolkata.’Nera beltolae akbari jae’(now i cant translate that into English for you).But dont think he is lagging behind in anything.He set up a disaster management cell as soon as the storm had blown over(now,if that's not foresight,then what is??).He may not have any maya,mamta or karuna in him,but he more than makes up for it in foresight.what a leader!!!!
And Indians can be proud of themselves once again(no,no,Vikas Dhorasu is not playing for France again).After SARS and bird flu,now its swine flu who hasn't had the courage to infect us.Are we really that stingy,that even viruses wont attack us?But really,what kind of a person contacts swine flu.Suar Ke Bachche,we call them(for yo Americans,it means a piglet).
And Federer seems to have started off quite well in the French Open.But sadly,and quite ominously,so has Mr Itchy Back(now we know what problems wearing tight pants can cause,they can embarrass you in public.He doesn't have much problem with it though,he puts his back hand to good use).But the player who,i think,had it easiest,probably was the Rod.Man was he a Hot Rod yesterday,he was on fire.And all i can say is,his opponent had a ride on the Rod,and he did not like it one bit though(which convinces me that he will never make it as a singer).
Well,finished reading Sirshendus Banshiwala,and I don't know how many of you will be interested in it,but it was really good.not his best though,but brilliant storytelling again,and theres that characteristic humour,all very much present.
Last heard,our Pyare Mohan had wanted FullMonty as his lead actor,but as i hear it,the part has now gone to Poor Knob,with wholesome support from Jenny(the Gadhi Bahu).

for lack of a better idea.....

Its raining outside,has been the whole day,in fact.So,with nothing better to do,I decided to waste some time on my latest obsession.And for all reasons,this is going to be a quickie(not the type the Warnie likes) and a shortie(well,not the type that we see on the cheerleaders).
And I don't know what Aila has against Kolkata,but after having ravaged Kolkata in full public a couple of weeks back(man he hit the crap out of ‘Raat Ki Sawari’,),he is at it again.Infact,its entire Bengal this time.And talking of IPL,we now know for certain who next years champions are going to be.They have come last this time and they probably will have an Australian captain in Sticky Something next year.Talk of failure being a pillar for success.They have built the pillars and real strong ones as well they are,and now are ready to embrace success.And talking of kings,we know why super kings lost in the semis.A captain has to be strong,courageous,daring,in short,he has to have the balls,and he clearly says it,’i have the bat,you have the ball’.Now you cant really expect such a team to emerge champs.But he is mr cool,’mind it’.And punjab will probably never get to be champions. No team can succeed with 11 kings.Ego clash,we call it.
And talking of kings,i was just amazed to see the royal blood running through the teams in the IPL.Kings eleven,Rajasthan Royals,Super Kings,Royal Challengers.And Kolkata any ways has royal blood,they don't need a name to prove it,what with King Khan as the team owner and Lordie as a team member.And now they have a proper strategy to be champions next time.And people actually thought they were confused.
Well,Fedex is all set to roll,and i gotta rush.Cant miss watching him play.
And no books this time around.I am no superman,small maybe,but no wonder either.

of Katchy finals......and more.....

Well well,what a final we had yesterday,and as always,the team i was supporting ended up on the wrong side.Though i was half expecting it this time.It infact,has happened so many times,that i possibly could come up with a conspiracy theory that the results are so fixed to prove me wrong,if i had better opinion of my judgment.Even Mr Right could not prevent the side i was supporting from ending up on the wrong side in a WC final.And the Beodas sure did choke on the marrow,and what a match to do it in.and Mr Gillidanda,immaterial that he failed with the bat,the man has some real balls(oh,no,don't take this the wrong way),he sure has,and the way he lead his team,got them charged up,i mean,u gotta hand it to him.But not to be forgotten is that man,Crumble,what a leader,to come in as the opening bowler,that required some balls.And this man did not merely have balls,he put them to good use,sneaking one past Gillidanda.
Though i kind of felt sad for Mr.Batliwala,but he has too many batlis to drown out the disappointment.And talking of batlis,there was a shot of him during the match which showed him having a drink and my mom was certain that he was having liquor.So much for being a liquor baron.
And what a closing ceremony we had.and that South African Idol,i mean,he was really good,and he got the crowd all worked up during the strategy breaks,just wish i could actually hear or make out what he was singing.All i saw him do was swing a lot.Some body got to tell him that there are cheerleaders for that.And talking of strategy breaks,i saw the batsman who was to come in next for the Beodas having a hit.Talk of being a pessimist.I saw some one complaining that we got to see more of Catty than Gillidanda after the match.I at least wasn't,to hell with cricket,how many matches have you seen with someone like Catty as a cheerleader,just wish Long Leg and Dimpled Junta had also been there.And i was totally satisfied after the finals,having got my dose of entertainment for the day.Just wished that Aila had been there.But you dont get everything in life do you.Just ask the Tweaker,how he gave up on Long Leg and went to Fine Leg(that's Long Leg's sister).You just don't get it all your way.
And finally,i got through(rather endured) reading ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’.And man ,was it a bore.I don't know how it got so popular,but easily the worst book i have read in a while.I actually found myself more interested in the Ferrari than the monk,but the author rambles on about the monk,and man,is he boring!
Federer starts off his French open today,and i am really hopeful this time.But i wish i hadn't been so hopeful about Federer's chances.
And a last word of thanks to Fake IPL Player,you really spiced up this years edition of IPL.That's it until the next post.Bye.
And if you haven't already read it,i advice you do.......
http://fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com/2009_04_12_archive.html

where to start

For one reason,my first blog is going to be a really short one,assuming that none of you are interested in knowing how i became interested in blogging.So i am not going to bore you guys with 'how much i enjoy blogging',or' how it has now become much of a trend'.Neither am i going to tell you 'i started blogging because i enjoy typing'.Its more like 'i started blogging because no publisher was interested in my story'.So i decided to publish my own story.
Its been a long time that i signed up for a 'Blogger' account(sometime around last year),but for some reason,never could come up with my first post(did sum one say busy???Well,that's one thing i m not,rather lazy).Probably,i just could not furnish enough lies at that time,concoct enough stories to make my (rather ordinary) life look a lot more steamy,and spicy(that you guys would lap it up the very moment it was served) on these pages.Then,realising that i was quite lacking in my story writing abilities,decided to give a rather true account(one might just as well say bland) of my life(like anybody is even interested).
And this is my first post,and i am already at a loss as to what else to write.I think i have bored you guys enough with my first post.keep an eye on this space for my next post and until then,some movie and music recommendations.
Der Name Der Rose or The Name Of The Rose-directed by 'who knows',based on Umberto Uco's novel(even if you don't watch the movie,make it a point to read the novel'),Sherlock Holmes meets 'Da Vinci Code',to produce a movie that sticks with you long after you have left the hall(or in my case,switched off the computer).I will go with 8.1 out of ten and a thumbs up for this movie about the oppressive ways of the medieval church.